On Friday I headed to Noda which was, fortunately, significantly easier to go to this time around. I left Noda at around 10:00 PM which would get me home just before the trains went offline. On my way home I switched to a surprisingly filled train. Nothing like rush hour commuters, but most likely people heading to parties or business men heading home. In fact, these are the two types of people involved in this story! I was standing by one of the exits on the train and I had these two cute girls sitting down to my left. I still had about 30 minutes left to reach my next stop so I decided to watch a show on my ipod classic, because for all your entertainment needs at reasonable prices go ipod (one of these companies HAS to send me something besides a cease and desist letter right?). The problem with watching video and having my headset in is that I have to look up frequently to make sure that I haven't missed my stop. Now, standing in front of the girls was a Japanese businessman. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary, he was holding the support handles as people tend to do when forced to stand on the train while attempting to sleep. Here's the thing though, he was drunk out of his mind. How do I know he had one too many beers? Well, I'm going to say his general lack of balance. Its not uncommon on a train to lose one's balance a bit, after all intertia exists even here in Japan. But this guy was flailing around like Gumbi after ripping lines of cocaine. He kept falling on top of these girls who were laughing but at the same time trying very hard to avoid him. You see, since his hands were holding onto the hand grip it was really his midsection and groin area that kept attacking these poor girls. Think this shape for his body when he would fall over ">". So this apparently boneless Japanese businessman decided that a better way to maintain his balance would be to use his candy cane (the J shaped) umbrella. Now this would actually be a smart idea...if he was sober enough to use the umbrella as a supporting cane. Did he do this? No. He hooked the umbrella to the hand grip (understand why I pointed out that his umbrella was of the candy cane variety?) and would just grab onto the middle of the umbrella. This doesn't' really help his balance you see. So when man lost his balance the umbrella would swing like a pendulum and hit these girls in the face, but also the man would continue to fall over because he in no way helped his balance! So as these two girls attempted to dodge this double threat, I looked over and saw this man falling into them. So next time it happened I grabbed his umbrella pushed him back a bit and grabbed the rail above the girls with my left arm. This effectively provided a nice barrier between the girls and the runaway umbrella. They both gave me a slight bow, a quiet "arigato" and two big smiles for my efforts. Our drunken friend left at the next stop to stumble off for new horizons. As for me, when I left I shot the girls a quick wink and walked away. Who says I'm not a charming guy?
Gambatte
-DPN
P.S. Using this title makes me feel dirty and ashamed of myself on the inside....
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